Top 10 Moronic Songs of 2011

Ok, this one will be short.

In preparation for writing about some of the songs and albums nominated for this year's Grammy Awards, I took a stroll through what Billboard magazine ranks as the Top 100 Songs of 2011. Now, don't get me wrong, there are plenty of songs that are sub-par being passed off for "hits" that saturate the airways with brainwashing mediocrity or mind-numbing stupidity, however I'm only willing to give so much time to recognize what should be plainly obvious... that music and entertainment corporations have conspired to market and promote anything that will keep people blind, deaf, dumb, ignorant and  super-sexed up. Does this mean that everything on the Top 100 list is worthless trash? No. There are some very good, and even great songs... however the sheer magnitude of crap compelled me to write this.

There were some standouts in the dumb-down-the-people category, for the year 2011. In order to qualify, the song either would make the listener an idiot with repeated listens, or the listener would have to already be a moron to really enjoy the song. I had to narrow things down to ten... it was hard, but here they are... The ten most moronic songs of 2011.

10. She Ain't You - Chris Brown - Chart Position: 89. "When I'm with her, it's only 'bout the sex..." What?!? This jumped straight to the list over other honorable mentions, almost solely on the strength of it being a desecration to Michael Jackson's Human Nature.

9. You Make Me Feel... (featuring Sabi) - Cobra Starship - Chart Position: 48. "La la la la la. Na na na na na..." uh... now that's writing. Oh, don't let me forget, "I'm the baddest baby in the atmosphere!" And my favorite, "Make the world stop! Make the world stop!" No make this song stop!

8. *Any song by Ke$ha - Ke$ha - Chart Position: 30, 33. Any song. On any list. In any year. "Drink the Kool Aid. Follow my lead. You're coming with me." Uh... No. I think not.

7. How to Love - Lil' Wayne - Chart Position: 23. This sounds like a retarded "love song" sung by a drunk crack head slurring his words, outside the local liquor store, while panhandling.

6. E.T. (featuring Kanye West) - Katy Perry - Chart Position: 4. "You are now invited to the other side of sanity." uh... no thanks. "Could you be the devil?... Kiss me, infect me with your poison." This is sad... people like this?

5. Grenade - Bruno Mars - Chart Position: 6.  This song is very deceptive. The sound is very compelling, smooth and swelling. It's pleasantly cinematic. But have you listened to the lyrics? Just check out the hook. "I'd catch a grenade for you... throw my hand on a blade... jump in front of a train... do anything... go through all this pain... take a bullet straight through my brain... I would die for you, but you won't do the same." Why are you singing to this chick? This song glorifies and teaches dysfunctionalism.

4. Look at Me Now (featuring Lil' Wayne & Busta Rhymes) - Chris Brown - Chart Position: 21. This is a whole lot of nothing. I mean a whole lot. "Look at me now." No, I've got better things to do.

 

3. No Hands (featuring Roscoe Dash & Wale) - Waka Flock Flame - Chart Position: 45. "She said look Ma, no hands!" Yeah, no brain, either. This song slows up brain functioning like quicksand... no... like a tar pit.

2. Down On Me (featuring 50 Cent) - Jeremih - Chart Position: 22. There are many, many, many reasons why this made it to number 2 on this list... but nothing tops the lyrics, "... if I do not fit, I'm gonna make it. Girl you can take it..." rapist music, I'll pass.

 

1. 6 Foot 7 Foot (featuring Cory Gunz) - Lil' Wayne - Chart Position: 41. "I lost my mind. It's somewhere out there stranded." Yes. That's the truest thing you've ever said. This song is sonic cancer. You lose brain cells with every listen... and just when you think the cancer is in remission, you start remembering it. Listen at your own risk.

Now, of course these aren't the only songs recommended for you to avoid. There were several honorable mentions, like The Time (Dirty Bit) (Black Eyed Peas), Bottoms Up (Trey Songs), and S&M (Rihanna), out there... just turn on the radio, and they'll assault your ears and intelligence. 

It's time to fight back! Fight for better music. Stop supporting crap artists and crap songs. It's easy. "Just say No."

Next time, we'll get warmed up for the Grammys, by exploring some of the nominations. Until then, find something better to listen to!